O Wow by Jenny Block

Author:Jenny Block
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: O Wow!
ISBN: 9791627781480
Publisher: Cleis Press
Published: 2015-06-23T04:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER

7

Bread and Butter: The Clitoral Orgasm

The Scoop

I KNOW YOU’RE HERE for the how-to. But bear with me here for a moment. It’ll be worth the read. Trust me.

When it comes to ultimate orgasms, clit awareness is paramount. And this may come as a surprise to you, so brace yourself: The exposed part of the clit is just the tip of the apparatus whose sole purpose is pleasure. Yup. It’s just the very tip. The rest is nestled inside you, prepared to thrill at will.

Clitoral stimulation makes women come. Bottom line. Do some women come without it? Perhaps. But unlikely. Does it matter? Not at all. The truth of the matter is, there are lots of other yummy parts to explore, but the clit remains the main player in this game.

Think of all the rest—which we’ll get to in the next few chapters—as ancillary zones and not the primary zone, and you’ll find yourself a lot more satisfied. And you’ll be giving yourself a lot fewer reasons to self-flagellate for “failing,” since these add-ons were never meant to be the main event.

If you want a surefire way not to orgasm as a woman, focus on the ancillaries like PVI. PVI can be great. It can create intimacy. Slow penetration can feel wonderful. Sometimes hard and fast can feel great too. But although it might be a main course for men, it’s a side dish for women. PVI is procreative, and it is generally much more effective at providing men with orgasms than it is women.

Sex and intercourse are not synonymous. Intercourse is one item on a glorious menu. One. Because men are in the position of power, and have been for far too long, it has become the menu item, the main course, the big event. But it shouldn’t be. At all. There is a long menu of activities when it comes to ancillaries, of which PVI intercourse is one.

This isn’t about unseating men. Not at all. In fact, it’s about empowering men and women. I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be to do something over and over and wonder why it never quite works.

In her famous orgasm manifesto, “The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm,” Anne Koedt (1972, 116) wrote, “The recognition of clitoral orgasm as fact would threaten the heterosexual institution. For it would indicate that sexual pleasure was obtainable from either men or women, thus making heterosexuality not an absolute, but an option. It would thus open up the whole question of human sexual relationships beyond the confines of the present male-female role system.”

We are going to reclaim sex as human-centric instead of male-centric, and we are going to start telling the truth. Women come via clitoral stimulation. There is lots of other fun stuff that can go on, and lots of it can feel really good. But it’s all ancillary. All of it.

Part of the problem is that many women don’t even know their own equipment, and so it can be easy to fall prey to the idea that PVI or penetration is the only game in town.

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